Pining
by underlordoftheoverworld
Summary: Castiel is Dean's best friend- has been for four years now. Sam has had a crush on the older, quiet, intelligent, handsome guy since Dean brought him over for Thanksgiving their freshman year, but he never let himself hope something would happen. It isn't until Sam starts attending the university that he begins to think maybe- probably not, but maybe- the attraction is reciprocated


It's a beautiful, sunny afternoon in September, so Sam decides to do his reading outside under the big oak tree. He's forty-three pages into _1984_ when he looks from his book and spots Castiel across the quad. _Damnit._ Sam bit his lip and forced himself to stare at the book. Despite his efforts, his eyes drifted back to the lean man standing with his arms crossed laughing with a redheaded girl. Cas looked perfect in the sunlight- he was wearing his light blue button-up with the sleeves rolled ¾ of the way up his tan arms, the first three buttons undone showing his white t-shirt underneath, the bottom of his shirt tucked into his tight-enough-in-all-the-right-places jeans, a silver belt buckle just bringing more attention to his package. Sam didn't realize when he started staring, but he doubted it wasn't obvious. His mouth was hanging slightly agape, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he imagined finally working up the courage to kiss the older guy. When he snapped out of his day dream, he noticed Cas was looking right back at him- eyes slightly hooded and one eyebrow raised. Sam's eyes widened and Castiel smirked and looked away. _Shit! What did I do? God he probably thinks I'm a freak._

Hurriedly, Sam tried to stuff his book and notes into his bag. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Castiel nod at the girl and start walking toward him. He could feel how red his face was turning; it was surprising that he didn't actually implode. He stood up and swung his bag over his shoulder, attempting to seem like he didn't notice the other man coming to him. He started walking when the deep voice called to him. "Sam!" He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. _You can do this. Just act cool._

He turned around and gave his best friendly smile. "Hey, Castiel." Cas smiled as he approached him. He was more than a head shorter than Sam, but _God_ if that didn't make him all the more appealing. He could just imagine wrapping his arms around the smaller man, running his hands under his ass and hoisting him up by his thighs and wrapping those legs around his waist-

"It would seem as though you were trying to avoid me," Cas said.

"No no no, of course not. I- uh, I just… I need to find Dean," he lied.

Cas stared up at him with those perfect blue eyes of his- _bastard_- and nodded. "He might be at the apartment." Sam opened his mouth to reply, but Cas cut him off. "I need to get something out of my room anyways; do you want to come with me so you can talk to Dean?"

Sam tried to formulate a sentence, but all he could think was _I'm going to Castiel's apartment. WITH him. _Cas nodded for him to follow him and, naturally, Sam did.

"We haven't talked in a while. How is pre-law coming along?"

"It's good. You know, freshman year is mostly general studies, but I haven't changed my mind," Sam said. He kept glancing over at Castiel, who was usually looking forward.

"That's good. You're smart, I'm sure you'll be successful in your endeavors." _Maybe academically, but I want to be successful in this endeavor._

Sam blushed and stared at his feet. "I'm nothing. You're the one who double majored in Spanish and French with a minor in Latin. Not to mention you're fluent in Portuguese, German, Ru-," he looked over at Cas and found him grinning up at him. Sam huffed a nervous laugh and looked back down. "Sorry. You're just, you know, _you_- and I'm just _me_."

"You really shouldn't think so lowly of yourself. I think _you_ is perfectly fine," Cas replied. Sam smiled and bit his lip. _He's just being polite, don't get ahead of yourself._ They settled into a comfortable silence (except for the screaming thoughts going through Sam's head the whole time) and arrived at the apartment. "Here we are." Sam stood at least three feet behind Castiel as he tried to unlock the door. The keys jingled and fell to the ground. Cas grumbled something and bent down to get them. His jeans pulled tight over his excellent ass- Sam could swear it didn't take this long to pick up keys. When Cas unlocked the door and left it open for Sam to follow him in, he called out for Dean. There was no answer. Sam stayed just inside the door and watched Castiel's hips as he disappeared around the corner.

"Dean?" Sam called again. His brother obviously wasn't there. He shuffled uncomfortably and looked around. It was a very functional combination of messy and tidy- Dean wasn't the most organized person, but Cas kept it up nicely. "Hey, Cas, I think I'm just going to head out-"

"Don't feel like you have to leave so soon; you can sit down and make yourself comfortable," Cas called from his bedroom. Sam tried to think of some excuse and almost had a good one until Castiel reappeared without his blue button-up and belt buckle so he was just wearing his plain t-shirt and now-low-riding jeans. "Unless what you needed to talk to Dean about was urgent."

Sam tried to stop staring or at least close his mouth- _I'm more mature than this! Just look away!_- but all he did was shake his head. "Uh- no. No, it wasn't urgent. I can hang out." Cas smiled and walked into the kitchen. Sam sat down rigidly on the sofa, still clutching the handle on his bag with both hands.

"Do you want something? I know your brother usually offers you a beer when you're over, but I'm afraid he drank the rest of them last night."

Sam chuckled. "Sounds like Dean. Water is okay, thanks." Castiel walked in and handed him a bottle of water before settling onto the couch beside him. He turned so he was sitting on one of his legs and was facing Sam. Sam blushed again and tried not to look at Cas, who was looking him over with an unreadable expression. Sam gulped from the bottle, downing half of it at once. He started fidgeting with the label intently, but the silence was killing him. "So how are things with Dean?"

Castiel shifted in his seat and put his elbow on the back of the sofa and rested his head on his hand. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Dean just said that he- you know-?" He looked at Cas to try to get the words out silently.

Cas chuckled softly. "Sam, don't you think if I wanted to be with Dean, I would have already?"

"You haven't?" Sam asked a little too quickly. Cas shook his head. "So you're not-?"

"I am, but Dean isn't exactly what I'm looking for right now. Maybe if he would have expressed his interest three years ago, I might have considered it, but I'm older and I'm not exactly interested in what Dean is offering." Sam watched him speak, studying the way his lips moved with each syllable. "Do you know what I mean?" Sam looked into his eyes that were still transfixed on him.

"Yeah, I do. You're, uh-" Sam bit his lip and looked back down at his water bottle. _Just spit it out. Lay it all out. Either he likes you back or you just return to being his friend's kid brother. No harm in trying._ He nodded to himself. "You're really special, Cas. You're smart and interesting and," he turned to face Cas, "you're funny and kind and you're just… you." He locked eyes with Cas. "And you deserve everything you want; you shouldn't settle for less." Cas sat up straight and his eyes softened, but he didn't say anything. Sam looked back down into his lap. "Sorry, I just-"

"Do you mean that, Sam?"

Sam looked back up into Cas' eyes. "Yeah, of course I do."

Cas scooted forward slightly and licked his lips. For the first time, Cas' eyes weren't fixed on his, but instead they were staring at his mouth. In a second, Sam had leaned forward and closed the distance between them and sealed their lips together. He stayed there for three seconds before realizing Cas wasn't moving and he stood up quickly. "I'm so sorry. I'm gonna go-" he fumbled over his words as he walked towards the door, not looking at Cas who was staring up at him from the couch.

"Don't go." Sam turned around was about to open his mouth to ask why when Cas strode over to him and pulled his face down into another kiss. It was everything Sam had ever dreamed it would be and so much more. Cas tasted like watermelons, and that was Sam's new favorite taste in the world. Cas pulled his face away, but kept Sam's in his hands. He looked him in the eyes softly. "Stay."

"Castiel, I'm not what you want. I'm 18 and I'm boring and awkward- Dean-" Cas sealed their lips together again quickly.

"Stop. Stop comparing yourself to Dean. You two are nothing alike, and that's not a bad thing. You're not boring at all. You're intelligent, honest, funny- and you're the sweetest person I know. You're an amazing person, Sam, and I wish you would realize that. And I have wanted you for a long time. Do you understand that? _You_, Sam. I-want-you."

Throwing any hesitation he had out the window, he tossed his bag to the side and grabbed Cas' hips and pulled them to his, kissing him deeply. Cas moaned lightly into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Sam's neck, standing on his tiptoes and intertwining his fingers in Sam's long hair. Castiel deepened the kiss and rocked his hips into Sam's. Bringing his fantasy to life, Sam slid his hands down Cas' hips and over his ass (which felt even better than he ever imagined- Cas must do a lot of squats), gripping the inside of his thighs and pulling him up and wrapping his legs around Sam's waist. Cas let out a little surprised yelp before grinning and kissing him again. "My room is around the corner," he said breathily. Sam nodded and resumed their kiss as he carried Cas to the bedroom. His knees touched the side of the bed and he let go of Cas, sending him falling to the mattress and bouncing slightly. Cas raised an eyebrow to him, the rest of his face looking completely debauched.

"I'm sorry- was that too-?" Cas shook his head and grabbed Sam's shirt and tugged him down on top of him. "Guess not," Sam said with a smile. Cas kissed him roughly and wrapped his legs around Sam's thighs before lifting his hips up high and turning so Sam was on his back and he was straddling his lap, earning a deep groan from Sam. Cas pulled his torso up and lifted Sam's shirt off before taking his own off and tossing it aside. He placed his hands on Sam's toned chest and pressed their lips together again, pushing Sam down onto his back. Sam was too tall to lay completely on the bed sideways, so his calves and feet were off the edge.

Cas ran his hands up and down Sam's chest, exploring every dip and curve, and slowly began grinding his hips into Sam's. Sam's large hands gripped onto the sides of Cas' thighs tighter. "You're so big," Cas breathed. Sam huffed, and Cas moved his hips back and began kissing Sam's neck. Whenever he dipped his tongue around Sam's clavicle, his eyes rolled into the back of his head. As Cas peppered kisses and licks to his chest and abs, Sam rested one hand on Cas' back encouragingly and ran his other hand through his hair and pushed it out of his eyes. Cas got down on his knees on the floor as he kissed his hipbones and his lower stomach and unbuttoned Sam's jeans and tugged them off with his boxers, throwing his shoes off in the process. Sam's achingly hard cock stood almost completely upright. Cas stared at his erection and licked his lips. "_God_ so big, Sam," Cas whispered. Sam sat up on his elbows and watched Cas mesmerizingly. Cas unbuttoned his own pants and tugged them down past his knees so he could spread his legs wide enough to accommodate his hand. He must have gotten the lube when Sam had his eyes closed because Castiel took the tip of Sam's cock into his mouth at the same time he started to finger himself.

"Fuck," Sam sighed, letting his head fall back. Cas bobbed his head up and down around Sam's length, swirling his tongue around the tip with every upward motion of his mouth. When Cas added a second finger, he groaned, sending vibrations through Sam, causing him to do the same. Cas released his mouth from Sam's cock and instead kissed and licked up the length, moving lower to the base of his shaft. Castiel added a third finger and rested his forehead on Sam's knee as he worked the three fingers inside of him. Cas' breathing became heavier and his hips moved rhythmically onto his fingers.

Cas nodded and lifted his head to lock lust-blown eyes with Sam. He removed his fingers slowly and tore open a condom packet with his non-lube-slicked hand and his teeth. Sam took the condom from him and put it on while Cas took his pants the rest of the way off, throwing them across the room before crawling back on top of Sam and straddling his lap. "Are you sure this is what you want, Cas?" Sam asked breathily. Cas nodded and kissed him passionately. Cas reached behind him and guided Sam's dick until he was breeching him.

Cas squeezed his eyes shut and groaned loudly as he pushed himself slowly down onto Sam. When he was fully seated on his lap, Cas' chest was heaving and he had a tight grip on Sam's pecks- Sam's hands tightly gripping Cas' hips. Cas leaned down and pressed their lips together. "Want you, Sam-" he raised his hips up and fucked them back down, "so much." Cas began rocking himself forward and back, clenching and unclenching around Sam's cock. He sat up higher- Sam following and resting on one elbow, one hand still holding tightly onto Cas- and ran one hand through Sam's hair as he started bouncing slowly and fucking himself onto Sam. He breathed and moaned Sam's name, it never sounded as good as it did then.

Sam started thrusting his hips to meet Cas', making Cas throw his head back. "So perfect, Cas," Sam groaned. Sam lifted his hips at a different angle, and when he hit that sweet spot, Castiel's grip in his hair tightened.

"Ah! Yeah, Sam, right there," Cas mewled. Sam made sure to get the angle the same way and pounded his hips up faster. "F-f-fuuck, ju-u-u-just like tha-at! Uhn- Sam!" Sam knew Cas was getting close, and he wasn't going to last much longer, so he moved one hand to Cas' cock and began pumping in time with his thrusts. Cas pulled on his hair harder, causing him to growl louder. "Hhhh, _SamSamSamSam_-mmm," Cas canted under his breath. Two powerful thrusts later, Cas came screaming Sam's name and throwing his head back, Sam following immediately. They stayed in that position for a few moments, trying to catch their breath. Cas sat up high enough to unsheathe Sam's softening dick, remove the condom and tie it off, tossing it in the trash bin a few feet away. He resettled on Sam's lap and leaned forward so he was resting his head on Sam's still heaving chest.

Sam wrapped one large arm around Cas' lower back, and one on the back of his head, stroking his damp hair out of his face. Sam sighed and pressed a kiss to Cas' forehead. "You've really wanted me for a while now?" he mumbled into Cas' hair.

He felt Castiel grin against his chest. "I really have," he replied as he lifted his head up and pressed a chaste kiss to Sam's lips.

"Me too," Sam agreed. They lay in their afterglow for a few more moments before Sam realized they were both a mess. "We should really get cleaned up before Dean gets back." Cas agreed and guided him toward the bathroom.

After they had both gotten redressed, the front door opened and shut. "Cas?" There was a quick pause. "Why is Sam's bag here?" Sam walked out of the bedroom and picked up his bag. "Why were you here? I was at work." Sam smirked down at his older brother, who still looked confused. "And why is your hair wet?"

Castiel emerged from the bedroom and wrapped his arms around Sam's waist and pressed another kiss to his lips. Dean groaned. Sam grinned and squeezed Cas' shoulder. "Does that settle your questions?" Sam asked.

"Bitch," Dean muttered as he walked away. Sam chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Hey, didn't you need to talk to Dean?" Cas asked.

Sam grinned widely. "No. Didn't you need to get something from your room?"

Cas sealed another sweet kiss to Sam's lips. "I already got what I wanted."


End file.
